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Grand Opening Review

Grand Opening Review

I feel like I will be asking this question about at least one comic a week for the rest of my life, for good or ill:

What did I just read?

Grand Opening is one of those comics. I'm not entirely sure if it works, but it's having so much fun most of the time that it almost doesn't matter that it doesn't entirely work or make sense. Almost.

It starts with our protagonist, Greg, trying to sell nuns on buying toys for their orphanage by using rather sexy videos. He's either a complete idiot, or working at a level that us other mere mortals can't really comprehend. I'm rather inclined to say the first, but the comic never clarifies, and never seems to really care. Is he the mastermind in an intergalactic drug smuggling operation, or just some schmuck stuck in the middle of it? The mastermind is probably smarter than having his office be in an elevator, but the comic never seems to really care about settling this all.

I mean, look at the art. It's not exactly like the cover, but really close to that, which is somewhere in the realm of a cartoon. That doesn't mean that it has to not be something serious, but it's definitely going to be exaggerated, it just never seems to decide where it wants to go with that.

I'm not trying to make sense of the plot, when a space bounty hunter comes out of nowhere and accuses Greg of smuggling "super pot" all over the galaxy, hiding it in toys, or the weird interlude on another planet before they end up back on Earth with no explanation. I'm willing to go with that sort of thing in the right context - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is my favorite book for a reason.

What Grand Opening doesn't seem to have is knowledge of what it is. In about six pages, we go from weird events on another planet, to back on Earth, to voicemail from a psychopath, to a possible suicide attempt, to ending on a poop joke. It happened so quickly that I was sure I'd missed something, or that they simply forgot some pages at the end. All of this comes right around the time that it seemed the story was about to come together, but instead it goes crazier than it was before.

It doesn't entirely work, but I had fun with Grand Opening. I know that'll probably sound more like an insult, but it's also the truth. If something about it sounds interesting, then go read it for yourself.

"Did you like it?"

"I think so."

"What's it about?"

"Thirty-six pages."

Sorry, that's all I got.

Site on indefinite hiatus

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